I LOVE BEING A MOM BUT…

I LOVE BEING A MOM BUT…

The phases of children are exhausting and that is such an understatement. There are so many shifts, challenges, regression and sometimes it goes well but lately it’s just been hard. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions and far too many cuss words.

This is one of those weeks where I’m finding it hard to mom. I don’t want to put my mom pants on.

Odin is almost 17 months but he is acting how I would imagine a terrible two-year old would act. Constant screaming temper tantrums, trying to test my patience, hitting, throwing, refusal to eat or nap. Now this isn’t entirely new but he’s starting to take it to a whole new level which we’ve yet to experience until this point.
Add in a lingering cold, possible teething, sleep regression, attachment issues to mama and we’ve got me at my wit’s end. With my quickly withering patience, gentleness and positivity I’m not the mom I want to be at the moment.

And all I’m thinking is “What am I doing wrong?” In the simplest and hardest challenges of motherhood I think this much too often and I catch myself comparing to other mamas and their children.

Why do they seem so put together? They’ve got it all under wraps. Why aren’t their children acting out? What am I doing wrong and they must be doing right.

 

I’m realizing the biggest learning curve of motherhood to not blame yourself or think you’re doing it all wrong and especially to never compare yourself to other mothers.
In the glamorized life on social media anyone can look like they’ve got a hold of this thing called motherhood, that they’re making all the right decisions at the right times. Meanwhile I’m over here having a mental breakdown because “What the hell am I supposed to do with this kid that wont stop screaming because I closed the bathroom door?”

In reality do any of us really know what we are doing? Likely not. Have we tried a million different approaches, yes definitely. Have they worked? Also likely no. Is that picture perfect mom on Instagram really that perfect at being a mom? Again, I’m going to say she’s probably got her days where all hell breaks loose.

While it’s hard to think of all of this in the moment when the self-doubt, guilt and other overwhelming emotions of motherhood hit. I, myself really am wanting to try to be more conscious to not blame myself for my kid acting out, or to compare myself to the mom who I think has it all right.

At the end of the day I wouldn’t ever change my position as “mom” nor would I want some else’s semi-perfect life. Sometimes I may be envious but deep down I love my chaotic, crazy unorganised life where the hugs are more like choke-holds and the kisses leave trails of slobber and snot. It is a good thing they’re cute.

 



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